hari ni ulangtahun ke-41 saya.
orang yang patut ingat
tak mengingati langsung
tapi saya pun tak berapa merayakan
harijadi ni....kerana ia lebih mengingati saya
kepada masa saya yang makin berkurangan
di dunia ini
dan betapa kurangnya bekal saya
untuk dunia yang lain yang lebih "nyata" atau "realiti sebenar"
tick
tock
tick
tock...
tiada hadiah
tiada ucapan
hadiah yang terakhir
sebuah mercedes
setelah sekian lama bersusah...
yang tidak dipohon
atau disangka
dan juga telah diambil kembali
saya suka mercedes itu
hanya kerana saya suka kereta
bukan kerana mahu menunjuk
tetapi memang jadi passion saya dari kecil
koleksi kereta model saya sudah lama menghilang
hanya tinggal hanya scrapbook dari zaman tadika
yang sudah dimakan anai2...
melihat bentuk merc coupe saya model 89 dari jauh
bagi saya seperti seorang lelaki menikmati potongan badan
wanita cantik
yang menggiurkan
mahu saja saya "run my hands along her curves"
sekarang hanya Pesona
yang tidak mempersonakan
tetapi cukup untuk memastikan saya tidak patah kaki
saya terserempak kereta lama saya
di traffic light tempoh hari
dibawa oleh seorang wanita cantik
dicat, diletakkan tayar besar, sport rim baru
selamat tinggal
"good to see you again"
saya tidak seperti wanita lain
mengharapkan wang
atau baju cantik
atau kalung emas
atau rumah berhias
memang tak ada pun semua itu
tak pernah ada
tetapi
hari ini
saya nak belanja
diri saya
makan
kasut baru
baju baru
Kereta baru...mungkin satu hari nanti...
1990 SL convertible
dan saya boleh main dari jauh
dengan retractable hardtopnya
berjam2.
Lepas makan
lepas memakai kasut baru
baju baru
saya akan memikirkan
bagaimana
harus saya
mengejar masa
yang makin pantas
mendahului saya
mungkin saya tidak akan
di sini untuk menyambut
ulang tahun ke-42
mungkin saya akan berada di alam
lain
yang tidak seperti alam ini
alam yang menakutkan, mengerikan
atau alam yang lebih bahagia dan bermakna
dari sekarang.
Orang selalu cakap
"make a wish"
I "wish"
I will not run out
of time.
At the wrong time.
Selamat Hari Jadi.
Monday, August 10, 2009
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25 comments:
Hi SAYA,
Let me be the 1st to wish u a very Happy Birthday & Many Happy Returns of the Day.
Sorry I can’t buy u a Merc (else my other GFs will be very jealous..heheh) More important is the tots that counts!!!!Have a great one anyway.
xoxox,
Tommy
Saya: Wishing you many, many more birthdays to come. Well, a sporty Merc is nice but good health is definitely preferable dearie. Enjoy your new togs!
selamat hari jadi
Hi Tommy!
Thank for the thot! And wishes!
Zendra,
But of course lah...heheh sajer nak buat topic memblog...alah nak beli hush puppy bottoms jer...hahaha
Thanks ribut
selamat hari jadi.
ni lirik lagu mercedes benz by janis joplin.
Oh lord, wont you buy me a mercedes benz ?
My friends all drive porsches, I must make amends.
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So lord, wont you buy me a mercedes benz ?
Oh lord, wont you buy me a color tv ?
Dialing for dollars is trying to find me.
I wait for delivery each day until three,
So oh lord, wont you buy me a color tv ?
Oh lord, wont you buy me a night on the town ?
Im counting on you, lord, please dont let me down.
Prove that you love me and buy the next round,
Oh lord, wont you buy me a night on the town ?
Everybody!
Oh lord, wont you buy me a mercedes benz ?
My friends all drive porsches, I must make amends,
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So oh lord, wont you buy me a mercedes benz ?
Thats it!
I ingat your b'day... smsed you a b'day wish this morning but you senyap je... tukar no. henpon ka?
Anyway, in case you missed it... happy birthday once again!
Tok Snake...thank you! Nice song that!
Zendra...semua betoi...hahaha...tapi boleh pakai ke tilikan cam tu? Im surprised he came up with that...macam astrology plak
Marko,
Oh, i lost your number, phone I yg celcom dah kantoi...i still have my maxis line...tapi number u dah hilang dalam tu...semua dah nak kantoi lah!
Can you send in a comment with your number?
Thanks for the wish.
Aiyo..birthday hangpa semua bila ah...hehehe, nanti tak wish, rasa bersalah pulak!
Happy Birthday my very good friend..You are a very beautiful hearted person. May you enjoy many beautiful times soon..
p.s..dia lupa biarkan je..ALLAH sayang you..kitaorang sayang you jugak..BE HAPPY!!
Thanks dear Mamasita,
love you too! (nanti kita boo hoo hoo lagi yek?)
happy burstday gurl!
U bursted into the world 41 years ago didn't ya?
muahahaha.....
U are sooo right. Life is short. Make the best out of it!
My dear friend, don't u worry abt the merc, you will get a better one next time..or soon ;-) anyway, "yepi" and not "besedih" birhtday k! take care now..big bisous!
Dear Saya,
Many Happy Returns! I did wish you on Facebook, and yes, let's meet up for a makan before bulan puasa, okay?
Oh dearie... your poem is too grim. Birthdays always bring about a bout of depression, don't they? I know, cos I attempted suicide the day after my 24th birthday. Just because. The time was right. 24 is so symmetrical. 2 x 12. 4 x 6. 8 x 3. Perfect number. Perfect age to die. I was very depressed. I should have been on medication.
Now I am fine and stronger than I have ever been. On my birthday, I give presents to my parents, Twin Bro and pets. And then I do something good for someone else in honour of the anniversary of the day on which I was born. I volunteer for half a day, and spend some money on a good cause, like school uniforms for hardcore poor children. Then I go out for something nice to eat in the company of my loved ones. So everyone's happy. It's up to me to make my birthday a happy one too.
I wanted to sing you Janis Joplin's "Mercedes Benz", but I see Abang Snakebite has beat me to it. Rotter.
VA,
yeah busted 41 years ago...heheh..blum sempat lagi belanja meself!
Aween,
Harap2 dapat chocolate cake yg special... ;)
CO78,
What a great way to spend your bday...yeah I might do that..buy something for someone else instead!
Oh, sorry to hear what you went thru...glad you are okay! you are such an asset to this sorry world! don't do it again! whatever it is, it gets better.
been lurking round your 'blogs' for some time, i like your guts and drive. and it's wonderful to read about your work/help/fight for those in need. my story is similar to yours, thus i share the feelings in some of your writings. it's the feeling of empowerment that i am discovering for myself now and i admire the strength that us women have deep inside. so carp diem gutsy lady, and happy bday.
MM,
thank you so much...not feeling so gutsy today...im surprised...some think my writings are full of self pity, Im glad ti hear from one who knows what im talking about and understands...
have a nice day...
Happy Birthday T, we are not so close on the age...but it's only a figure. Cant buy you a Merc too but can belanja makan. Seems like time flies faster than an supersonic, very soon...dah nak puasa and I still remember the day the girls went dipping in the pool...seems like just 2 months ago. Tak pe, hopefully the wish will come true :P
Thanks Maryam (aiyah..i dunno..one minute I call you Mary Kate, the next Maryam...now im starting to call my Maryam Mary!)
Time really flies, you are right about that...
Ok, I will cook for you and girls eh? Just say when lah!
I don't know what to say about this sajak - it's sad and funny at the same time, especially about the car. The present one doesn't "mempersonakan"? Well, it will if you were to lose it.
I hated the 4th-hand 1977 Honda Civic I had in 1988 (coveting the `88 1.5 model). Towards the end of the 90's when I "didn't have anything" (not too big an exaggeration), I kept think of that Civic - better to have had that rather than nothing.
Maybe that was one of the reassons why God had withdrawn most of the things that I once had - I wasn't grateful... and I wasn't even addicted yet at that time!
MC,
Did it sound like a sajak? Hmmm...was just writing as I thought...hahah...very bad sajak then!
Well, I AM grateful...you are right, nanti tak de kereta langsung...menangis lah...heheh
Saje jer angan2...(when you write your book, nanti bolehlah I tumpang your Merc, eh?)
Nothing too special about writing a book. I see so many authors nowadays - it's writing something that SELLS that's the problem. But I'm going to do that - write - and not think about the financial returns.
Anyway, why don't YOU write too, for I know that you can do it very well. Some of your writings... well, after reading them, I feel inadequacy in myself. With enough luck, you'll buy a Merc - or a few.
BTW your friend there can write very well too... when she "just write" and not be conscious about it (heheh, I know when she is). Some of her writings cut deep into me - as do some of yours. But she's too busy with "commercial writing" to write right now. That's a shame but I fully understand.
For me, I've lost a lot of interest in cars. I used to pour over those auto magazines, and know about the technical details too. This stopped after I lost my last car - a Proton Megavalve - in mid `96... repossessed (no prizes for guessing where the money had gone to).
Besides the book/s, I'll make the big ones through the futures market (angan-angan sikit early morning ni)... currency and commodities. Then, RM500K hantaran kahwin... Should be enough left for a car in the 1.6 and above range. Seronok ye - me and this woman... and a house in Cherating.
another lioness... ;)
happy BELATED besdae awak..
MC,
You, her and about 7 or more others... ;)
Jgn lupa Saya bila sudah kaya...hahaha
Gayah Gebu,
tima kaseh, awak...heheh
Saya,
unhappy belated birthday ?? Gee girl !! JUST remember that everyday is like a birthday for the living, so make the best of it every single day yaa !
its all in one's attitude in life, no one own's you a living BUT oneself.
You got what it takes, so start fresh everyday, thank Allah and GO FOR IT !!
What a shame if one is a living dead.
Move like a tigress, select your prey..act/execute/operate/review the deliverables&results!!
Just a simple process that will lead oneself forward in life.
if its just a merc. your aim is too simple, 'the sky the limit' yaa.
I will help coach you through, no worries..trust yourself o.k. YES,,You got the brains, start using your guts yoo !!
Capt.
KapasPirate
I'm aiming for the moon and stars lah (higher than the sky, meh!)
My aim is actually an Aston, a Jaguar, a Ferrari, a Lambo, a TVR, a Porsche, a McLaren, a GT40...and many, many more...but a Merc will do fer now... ;)
ooiii Saya get real !!hahaha...yes indeed go for the Moon n bring me back a rock !
capt
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