heard this song over the radio today...haven't heard it in a long while. sweet.

Manusia Kedekut

Tadi, saya makan kat NZ Wangsa Maju bersama anak2, dengan muka berseri2 (post sebelum ni punya pasal, tersangat happy terjumpa kawan lama...). Tengah makan, saya nampak lelaki kurus, muka penuh kurap (putih2 tu fungus lah)...botak, selekeh...minta sesuatu pada lelaki Melayu berperut boroi yg mendukung bayi tengah makan bersama2 isterinya yg cantik gebu...lelaki boroi tu buat tak tahu, dismiss orang yang meminta sesuatu padanya itu...hati saya membuak2...dah berkali2 saya nampak benda macam ni...manusia kedekut nak mampus dan tak sedar diri...saya tak lah bagus sangat, atau kaya, tapi badan saya menunjukkan saya lebih dari cukup makan...saya bangun, terus memanggil2 lelaki kurus kering yang nampak hampa dan sedih dan mahu beredar...

"abang mau apa?"

"saya mau makan..."

"mari duduk saya belanja makan". (takkan lah kita yang tak kaya tapi boleh makan 20 ringgit sekali makan tak boleh belanja 5 ringgit untuk orang lapar!)

"kakak, kasi bungkus saja..." pohonnya dengan lembut sambil mengangkat tangan "merafak sembah" pada saya macam saya ni permaisuri (tau2 pulak dia nama Begum tu memang maksud Queen ya...selitan lawak sedih)...dia Hindu lagipun...tulah stail dia.

"tunggu sini," saya membalas lalu membungkus nasi beriyani ayam dan air untuknya walau saya sendiri makan capati saja (sebab balik rumah nak mencekik lagi nasi putih macam orang kampung...dulu saya kutuk orang Melayu ni macam perak...tak leh idup tanpa nasik, sampai terkena batang hidung mancung saya balik lepas bersalin sebab terkena penyakit "angin" Melayu).

Anak saya memberi makanan bungkus itu padanya...dia berlalu sambil berkali2 "merafak sembah" anakku sambil berterimakasih.

Saya bukan nak berlagak saya ni dermawan atau nak boasting ...sebab pahala saya akan hilang sekelip mata kalau saya eksyen abis dengan derma hanya RM8.20...tapi sebelum ini, di NZ Ampang, saya juga mendapati perkara sama...seorang musafir dari kedah meminta makan, langsung saya berikan sementara orang lain hanya buat tak nampak sengsara orang lain depan mata kepala hotak mereka...dah lama orang itu tunggu di situ sebelum saya datang...sebelum itu, lelaki musafir di Pelita Restaurant...dan banyak lagi...saya tahu mereka ni bukan suka2 mau minta sedekah...sebab badan bagai lidi dan rupa hampir nak pitam...

Korang bodoh. Kedekut. Zalim. Allah beri peluang pada kamu, tapi kamu biarkan mereka itu tunggu sekian lama, sehingga Allah berikan rezeki melalui saya. Saya bersyukur Allah berikan melalui saya kerana dapat meringankan penderitaan orang lain walau tak seberapa pemberian saya. Derita saya, saya masih dapat makan macam babi. Derita mereka...lebih sengsara.

Zalim. Suatu hari kamu kelaparan, baru kamu tahu bagaimana perasaan dilayan macam anjing hina. Anjing pun wajib kita beri makan.

Look around you. Someone is always there standing...wishing they could get just a little bite of what you are stuffing your face with. Give them a plate. IT WOULDN'T KILL YOU, WOULD IT?

IDIOTS.

Old Friend

Today,

I went back in time
on my Delorean (in reverse thrust...because it's back to the past, not future)


and found
you.

Old friend.
You are exactly the same.

As you were 21 years ago.

Its as if time stood still.

Damnit. How am I gonna lose 20lbs (and more) before tomorrow?

(...menyesal aku kuat makan)

aku tidak perlukan
panggilanmu
smsmu
aku tidak perlukan
kamu
bertanyakan khabarku
aku tidak memerlukan
dakapanmu
kucupanmu
aku tidak memerlukan
rasa kasihanmu
aku tidak memerlukan
kata-katamu
aku tidak memerlukan
kiriman salammu
aku tidak memerlukan
apa-apa lagi
darimu
kerana
ketika aku amat memerlukanmu
kamu terlalu asyik
dibuai cinta palsu
terlalu alpa
terlalu sombong
terlalu bongkak
terlalu bahagia
lupa diri dan daratan
tempat bumi berpijak
mendabik dada
hanyut di alam tidak nyata
dan membiarkan aku
lemas
lemas
lemas
dan lemas
hingga
putus
nyawaku
mati
mati
mati
mati
hati
jiwa
dan segala-segalanya.

sekarang...
pergi matilah
dengan
kamu.

Simple pleasures

It started off a rainy, stormy morning...

quenching the thirst of my neglected frangipanis...(sorry babies, I'll tend to you this evenin' ok?)
The melancholicly (is there such a word? do I care?) beautiful, gray clouds and calming deluge from the heavens soon gave way to a dazzlingly huge rainbow, which I failed to capture adequately on my camera phone (yes, Steven Lee, I am guilty or driving and snapping again...hey, how 'bout that old Leica you're dumping...I heard someone's birthday is coming up next month...yeah I am shameless...I know)
Culminating in a washed, rinsed and spun dried clear, clear blue sky...blowing all the smog back to Indonesia where it belonged...

Simple pleasures for the day...

Free of charge.

Speak of the Devil...

Ulaq drew my attention to the 333 number greets me daily as I look at the time...am I a step closer to the dreaded 666 association?

Maybe...because I have started smoking again. After 12 years of quitting cold turkey on a 2 pack-a-day habit first acquired during my Chukka days where they gave you free St. Moritz ciggies at your table. Yeah, it was cool and sophisticated then. Until I became a junkie.

I quit cold turkey for my kids' sake, during my first pregnancy, and totally after my post natal depression because the fags made my anxiety levels worse (naik kepala.. memusingkan lagi kepala yang dah memang berpusing2 dengan hormon2 yang haywire).

Then the fatwas came, regarding smoking.

Early Muslim scholars, confronted with this obnoxious habit, declared it to be makrooh (detested), comparing it with such things as garlic and onions. This was due to the fact that, at that time, no one was aware of the harmful effects produced by smoking, which include, cancer, heart disease, strokes, miscarriages and premature birth in women and several other diseases.

Since it has become clear that smoking is harmful, it is obligatory upon all Muslims to abstain from it, for Allah has said: {And do not kill yourselves, Allah is indeed Merciful to you } (Qur'an 4:29), and the Prophet(S) said: "Let there be no harming and no reciprocating harm." (Narrated by Ahmad)

Unfortunately, some Muslims, either deliberately, or through ignorance, have been guilty of misleading Muslims, by repeating the earlier judgements of scholars, that smoking is only disliked, and therefore, not forbidden.

He(S) also said: "Whoever imbibes poison, killing himself with it, will be consuming his poison in the Hell-fire and will dwell therein eternally." (Narrated by Al-Bukhari)

A smoker is not only a faasid (corrupt person), but also a mufsid (one who spreads corruption): Because of his bad example, his family members, friends and colleagues may also smoke. It is useless to say: "Do as I say, and not as I do." The problem is exacerbated when the smoker affects an air of religious piety or knowledge, because many people will take him as a role model. This multiplies his sins and increases his burden.

So I had been toxin-free for 12 years. Felt clean as a whistle and loathed smokers around me (hey, when I smoked, I always asked the permission of the persons next to me if I could poison their air, and only did it after they obliged)

And then, I was invited to the Mee Rebus Tuesdays' bloggers meet. All the ladies smoked. Tok Mommy, Elviza, etc etc. And I just buckled. They seemed healthy. They were smoking like chimneys. And after all, the nights were getting colder and longer and I needed something to warm me up. To keep me company. To look forward to as a secret pleasure each night when the kids went to sleep.

And I lit up. Sempornas. They tasted like crap and I could feel the toxins permeating my every vein and cell. They made me light-headed. But I couldn't stop. You never can't control youself when it comes to something that you KNOW isn't good for you. You want it anyway. It's addictive. For addictive personalities like me, at least.

That was a year ago, when I first lit up again. During the blessed month of Ramadhan of all times. fast during the days, break fast with the haraam at night. What a waste.

Reading the blogs of so friends finding out they have cancer. Non- friends who have tongue, mouth, all kinds of cancers, even if they haven't smoked a day in their lives. Got me worried. The pictures on the boxes of tar-clogged lungs also give me panic attacks, as I curi-curi smoke in the toilet while reading the warnings on the boxes, feeling myself getting all constricted as I imagined my lungs totally wasted and unable to function anymore. But still, I sucked in all the smoke even deeper, matching the heaving of my rising panic.

My daughters know. I hide it from them, but they know. The eldest, as she lifts the toilet seat, asks, "Apa rokok ni Umi?"

"Oh, semalam plumber datang, tak guna dia tu...buang dalam tandas ek?"

Ya, right. The plumber coming in the dead of the night, fagging in your master toilet, while kids are asleep. Even more damning, ain't it? A plumber looking like Mike from the Desperate Housewives. Yeah. He would definitely do a good job. And more.

Ok. I'm gonna crush and dunk the remaining ciggies in water and throw them away. (gotta make sure they are wet, because junkies will fish out any remaining semblance of fags they attempt to throw away and light them up for relief)

My chest doesn't feel right. And I really gotta stop. 'Coz I'm already up to a pack a day now.

'Coz I'm turning 40 next month.

Not a good age to regress.

And because I want to be able to tell my kids the truth and not poison their beautiful, pure minds.

Dear God, I need a cigarette right now.

Why ah...

almost daily...when I look up at the clock, its always exactly 3.33pm. Why ah that time? Maybe its my mati time ah? Maybe I'm just being paranoid because so many bloggers and others around me dropping like flies, getting cancer, getting strokes, kena langgar and I know my time is also soon because I'm going to be 40 next month...Will I reach 40? Will I reach tomorrow? Tonight? This evening? (btw...look at the time on me post at the bottom...weird eh? saw it after my initial publish)

Dunno...so many things done and not yet undone and so many thing left undone too. Hutang posa, haji, hutang card, hutang biasiswa separa, hutang macam2 lagi...dosa bertimbun yang dibuat...yang tengah pikir nak buat...sakit hati sendiri, sakitkan hati orang...nak kena buat list lah mende2 nak settle sebelum mati.

Hak mana boleh settle lah...hopefully God will forgive me since I had a list of wanted-to-do, tapi tak sempat sebab mati tetiba...

Tengah pikir mati...tercium plak bau tandoori chicken tengah bakar dalam oven. Hari ni menu makan homemade Tandoori Chicken, dhall turka (turka means frying the onions and garlic and spices separately in heavenly ghee and then dumping it over the boiled lentils...), tomato and onion salad, and yoghurt with mint leaves.

My kids' fav. I used to make his fav. What has it gotten me? Might as well make what I want now. Done pleasing others and being controlled by others. And caring about what others think of me (yeah you know who you are...no, Tommy Yewfigure aka Mr Paranoia...it's not you lah!)

Oh..I was supposed to forgive eh?

Oh well, maybe later lah. I'm no angel.

Dessert...dessert is Semiah. The wonderful sweet, comforting dessert made from Indian Vermicelli roasted in a little ghee, then boiled in evaporated milk, plain milk with some raisins, almonds and sugar...and flavored delicately with saffron threads and cardamon.

Tastes delish cold.

Here's a recipe from the net ( I make my own, chef style...campak jer bahan2...this is for the uninitiated):

Title: Semia Payasam (Roasted Vermicelli)
Yield: 1 Servings

Ingredients

6 c [skimmed] milk
1/2 c condensed milk (optional)
1 c vermicelli, roasted
3/4 c sugar*
2 tb cashew nuts,chopped
2 tb golden raisins
1/2 ts cardamom, powdered
1 ts ghee or oil

Instructions

* or less if adding condensed milk (I prefer evaporated milk for its taste, adding some sugar to sweeten)
Semia (Roasted vermicelli) is available in Indian stores. The jelly like ingredient may be coconut, Ada (thin sheets of rice) or sabudhana (sago). For ada, thin rice paper from oriental groceries may be substituted. Sago is also available in Indian Stores.( I don't add sago...just vermicelli, but sago tastes okay too) Heat the milk to scalding. Add the roasted vermicelli and cook on a low heat till the vermicelli is cooked. Meanwhile, heat the oil in another pan and stir fry the cashew nuts and raisins for a minute or two. Do not brown. When the vermicelli is cooked, add the sugar, nuts and raisins. Add the condensed milk and stir gently for a minute. Taste the payasam and add more sugar if needed. Stir in the cardamom powder and remove from heat. May be served hot or cold.

Abstinence education

I took my kids to Bangi today, my mum's day, via the scenic route after a lovely breakfast with Lynn, that famed SuperGirl, who blogs under the name of CO78. Real dynamo she is. And thanks, Jeffrey! (I heard the man speaks like he writes, ala Shakespeare...I ain't NEVER gonna talk to him, I tell ya...will be a blubbering fool, cause I never read Shakespeare..maybe I did once, but forgot after my diet changed to Ludlum and Sanders et al...heheh)

The scenic route was a detour through Taman TAR to look at the monkeys and enjoy the greenery.



The monkeys were really out in full force. Three different species, I think. My kids took videos which I can't seem to upload here. They were up to all kinds of antics. Especially the little ones with their mothers. One got stuck up a tree swinging too high on the vines, and the mother had to come rescue it. It tried to climb up again, but mother held on to one leg of baby...so human-like. Really cute.

And then, as MY babies were watching. One big male started just grabbing any female and humping it. One after another. My kids went, "UMIIII...Apa dia buat tu?"

"Oh...they're ...errr...mating."

"Apa tu mating?"

"Having sex lah!"

"Ewwwwww....we are NEVER EVER having sex, Umi! Isn't that what you talked about the other day?"

"Yup..." Well I HAD to tell them about the birds and the bees, one of them reaching puberty and all, and all those increasingly X-rated Disney stuff and cartoons, meh.

Dalam hati saya...YESSSS!!!! I like the "NEVER EVER" part.

Thank you, monkeys!

I just...

wanted

to

say

that

.....

.....

oh never mind...

The perils of drinking

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Lonely?

Loneliness is the affliction of many, that which we have not learned to recognise as the voice within us calling us unto fellowship with our inner beings, that our true selves may be discovered when nobody else stands witness to the intimacies owed only to ourselves and nobody else.
(email from JM (a friend))

How very true. Loss of companionship of another, loneliness, isolation (self-imposed or otherwise), is in reality a chance to listen to our inner voice and reconnect with ourselves, and our reasons for being.

Because ultimately,

we stand before Him Alone.

And He knows Best the reasons for everything. We just can't see it yet. So we must embrace the moments leading up to it, Because the answer, when it comes, will be all the more sweeter and meaningful.

By that moment of recognition of His Revealed Plan, we will already have "grown" to fit perfectly into the new skin, role, position...or person.

When all else has left, love, wealth, position; there is only "us".

Do we love "us" as much as we loved everything and everyone else around us?

To do the right thing by us?

And not keep running away (whether into other pursuits or people, simply to forget,...just another form of denial and fear of ourselves and the hollowness of our being, unable to sustain itself on its own...)

Aiyoyo!

‘I want to marry him’ Teoh’s fiancee plans to say I do in afterworld wedding

THE late Teoh Beng Hock’s fiancee Soh Cher Wei wants to marry him in an “afterworld” wedding, reported China Press.

The daily quoted Soh as saying that this was not an impulsive decision but one that she had thought about long and hard.

“My parents want me to think twice about the decision but I have decided to marry him no matter what,” she said.

It is understood that Soh’s parents had wanted her to reconsider her decision as she was still young and might meet someone else in the future.

Hmmm...wonder how they will have conjugal relations?

It will pass my dear... just feels like it won't right now.

A live one is always better. Funny how when they are, sometimes you wanna kill them ;)

I remember once when I was in love, I thought if I lost him, I would never want another, because the "love" never died. Just the person. So I kinda know how she feels.

But when the love dies, and you are still alive, kills you anyway.

(unless ade spart part kot?)

Great Balls of Rage

...heheh...baru tengok bola, pastu cakap bola kot sampai lupa time...belum lagi main "bola"...kalau main agaknye dah kena cincang...

A WIFE stabbed her husband in a rage after he came home late from the friendly match between Manchester United and the Malaysian team on Saturday, reported Harian Metro.

The husband had initially promised his wife to be home by around 7pm after the match, but he only came back at 2am.

As soon as he came home, the 20 something couple, began arguing.

It is understood that the wife stabbed her husband in the chest with a vegetable knife after she could no longer control her temper.

However, she panicked on seeing her husband convered in blood and quickly sent him to the hospital.

Police have detained the wife and seized the weapon.

Ampang OCPD Asst Comm Abd Jalil Hassan said the 26-year-old self-employed victim was currently in critical condition.

“The woman claims she was provoked by her husband coming home late,” he said.

Question!

Some one asked my opinion,

"innocent" social interaction for some (an "imaginary" example) includes getting up at 3 am to paint/draw pictures for a cyber womanfriend...amongst other thingslah (like hanging around your blog, sending off-record comments, heaping praises bla bla bla...)

was that was purely innocent (considering the already difficult circumstances/situation of the other which could result in a gross distortion of the claimed "innocence")..

I think...its the form of eliciting appreciation where none is gotten at home, ie: using others to boost their own egos.

funny how when the other party does it, it is "innocent"..but when a woman does it upon getting encouraged by numerous "innocent" messages, the other party turns absolutely self-righteous and sanctimonious (bastard)..when fact is, they get scared shitless, knowing what they have done, but are too proud to admit their mistakes...all the while maintaining their anonymous cover like the coward they are, they turn tail and turn the tables on the woman.

the hazards of the cyber-world and cyber-friendships...one can always hide behind the screen and play with people's lives and emotions...then cut them down when they cannot handle what they stoked.

of course, once their cowardice is exposed, it's like an icy shower for the woman.

women loathe no-ballers.

what do you think?

Malaysian Madoff

Malaysian Bernie Madoff...terror gua cakap lu...400 MILLION ringgit

SACKS, FOOD AND ROBBERS

At 5 am, I woke up, to the TV blaring and the light on as usual (oh wait, this time the bulb blew, tired from its nightly extended tour of duty, so it was dark and wah! waddaya know, no hantus, after all!).

I wanted to continue my fasting routine before Ramadhan, so I groggily reached for the kurma by my bedside I kept for sahur, ate three, drank some water and dozed off again, not before trying to wake my kids who also wanted to fast but they were like lost in Jackson's Neverland playdreams. Sakinah can always shut her eyes tighter or play deader when I trickle some water on her face (her request; not my sadistic side that was).

At six, woke her up by screaming, "OH MY GOD IT'S 7 AM!!! CIKGU IS GOING TO WHACK YOU AGAIN!" That ALWAYS works. THAT'S my sadistic side. She sits right up, in wide-eyed fear. They always fear cikgus more than us mums.

After dropping her off at school, as I drove back, my tummy started growling. It was a soft sound at first. Then it got louder. And louder. And louder. And louder. I started to hallucinate.

I saw putu mayams...
Rava toseis
Roti canais.
Puris.
Tairu vadais.
Putu Bambus.
Teh tariks.
Nasi Lemaks....

They were floating around in the car, in front of me. Like those heads-up display thingys on 'em Beemers.

It was Satan. Satan. He is a real cunning little devil.

I couldn't bear it. I felt dizzy like I hadn't eaten in 10 days. I drove to the Indian restaurant, sat down as the Hindu idols sneered at me, and ordered tosei and putu bambu and teh tarik. It felt so illicitly sedap.

I will fast on Saturday and Sunday, I promised meself.

Sated, my mind started to wander. I thought about Christopher Walken. A full stomach deadens hearts and kindles other lusts. Maybe I should call him, I thought.

Darn. I don't have his number. The last time I saw him was in a movie on TV with Glenn Close. In the US way back in '90. I should have looked in the phonebook then. Oh well.

Since I'm married, I would probably ge stoned to death it I got him on the phone. So I'm saved.

Yesterday, I posted an article on How to Make Your Wife Happy. I asked my girlfriend Zendy if she knew How to Make Your Husband Happy. She said here it was about sacks. Lots of sacks.

I don't have a clue what she meant. Sacks? What. Of flour? Of cement? The latter brings to mind a mafia-type murder and dump-in-the-lake-weighed-by-cement-block kinda scenario. Not very sacksy at all.

Oh well. Maybe when we meet up for a tairu vadai pre-Ramadhan, she can explain the intricacies of these sacks thingy.

Meanwhile, I'm already home. Too full to walk from my car to the front door. So I sit for a bit, reading the Star. Snatch thieves and robbers on the rise! The police are telling us, "they cannot do all the work, the public must help!"

How? How do we help? I'm getting my bag ripped from behind, dragged to the ground by the speeding motorcycle and my brains are being scattered all over the pavement. I manage to see the number plate and the high-on-ice snatcher's face, but by then I carry the memory with me to my grave. Was that any help MISTER IGP???

I'm already a mum, a driver, a nurse, a driver, a cleaner, a cook, vice-chairman of my residents' association, sufferer of OCD neighbours, washerwoman, grocery shopper, tuition teacher of my kids coz' teachers too nowadays scream "YOU MUST HELP US, TEACH YOUR KIDS AT HOME TOO YOU LAZY BUM OF A MUM, EVEN THOUGH YOU PAY 300 BUCKS A MONTH FOR YOUR KIDS TO BE PRIVATELY SCHOOLED HERE AND GET PERSONAL ATTENTION!!" They are just like 'em cops.

NOW I have to be a policewoman too??? If they gave me a Glock to go with that job. It would be easier, kan?

Or like stoning for illicit affairs with Christopher Walkens, maybe we should just cut off the hands of a couple of snatch thieves and robbers. Hudud works. Tengok berapa ramai boleh rompak orang dengan tangan dan kaki kudung depa. Many politicans will also become OKUs.

But people are more scared of peace than 'em robbers. Robbers have RIGHTS! Scream the liberally stupid liberals. HUDUD is barbaric! They yelp.

More barbaric than murdering mothers with little babies for a couple of handbags and loose change, and breaking into the private sanctuary of your homes where you are supposed to be at your safest?

Bodoh. Bodoh dan sombong.

I gotta go get some sacks.

I have a pounding headache.

ZENDRAAAA!!!!

How to make your wife happy

Zendra! I swiped this from your blog for my few readers...hehe...nanti I post "how to make your husband happy" plak eh? Maybe I can swipe that from you too...

How to Make Your Wife Happy

by Sheikh Mohammed Abdelhaleem Hamed

1. Beautiful Reception

After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you:

• begin with a good greeting.
• Start with Assalamau 'Aliaykum and a smile. Salam is a sunnah and a du'aa for her as well.
• Shake her hand and leave bad news for later!

2. Sweet Speech and Enchanting Invitations

• Choose words that are positive and avoid negative ones.
• Give her your attention when you speak of she speaks.
• Speak with clarity and repeat words if necessary until she understands.
• Call her with the nice names that she likes, e.g. my sweet-heart, honey, saaliha, etc.

3. Friendliness and Recreation

• Spend time talking together.
• Tell her good news.
• Remember your good memories together.

4. Games and Distractions

• Joking around & having a sense of humor.
• Playing and competing with each other in sports or whatever.
• Taking her to watch permissible (halal) types of entertainment.
• Avoiding prohibited (haram) things in your choices of entertainment.

5. Assistance in the Household

• Doing what you as an individual can/like to do that helps out, especially if she is sick or tired.
• The most important thing is making it obvious that he appreciates her hard work.

6. Consultation (Shurah)

• Specifically in family matters.
• Giving her the feeling that her opinion is important to you.
• Studying her opinion carefully.
• Be willing to change an opinion for hers if it is better.
• Thanking her for helping him with her opinions.

7. Visiting Others

• Choosing well raised people to build relations with. There is a great reward in visiting relatives and pious people. (Not in wasting time while visiting!)
• Pay attention to ensure Islamic manners during visits.
• Not forcing her to visit whom she does not feel comfortable with.

8. Conduct During Travel

• Offer a warm farewell and good advice.
• Ask her to pray for him.
• Ask pious relatives and friends to take care of the family in your absence.
• Give her enough money for what she might need.
• Try to stay in touch with her whether by phone, e-mail, letters, etc..
• Return as soon as possible.
• Bring her a gift!
• Avoid returning at an unexpected time or at night.
• Take her with you if possible.

9. Financial Support

• The husband needs to be generous within his financial capabilities. He should not be a miser with his money (nor wasteful).
• He gets rewards for all what he spends on her sustenance even for a small piece of bread that he feeds her by his hand (hadeith).
• He is strongly encouraged to give to her before she asks him.

10. Smelling Good and Physical Beautification

• Following the Sunnah in removing hair from the groin and underarms.
• Always being clean and neat.
• Put on perfume for her.

11. Intercourse

• It is obligatory to do it habitually if you have no excuse (sickness, etc.)
• Start with "Bismillah" and the authentic du'a.
• Enter into her in the proper place only (not the anus).
• Begin with foreplay including words of love.
• Continue until you have satisfied her desire.
• Relax and joke around afterwards.
• Avoid intercourse during the monthly period because it is haram
• Do what you can to avoid damaging her level of Hiyaa (shyness and modesty) such as taking your clothes together instead of asking her to do it first while he is looking on.
• Avoid positions during intercourse that may harm her such as putting pressure on her chest and blocking her breath, especially if you are heavy.
• Choose suitable times for intercourse and be considerate as sometimes she maybe sick or exhausted.

12. Guarding Privacy

• Avoid disclosing private information such as bedroom secrets, her personal problems and other private matters.

13. Aiding in the Obedience to Allah

• Wake her up in the last third of the night to pray "Qiam-ul-Layl" (extra prayer done at night with long sujood and ruku'ua).
• Teach her what you know of the Qur'an and its tafseer.
• Teach her "Dhikr" (ways to remember Allah by the example of the prophet) in the morning and evening.
• Encourage her to spend money for the sake of Allah such as in a charity sale.
• Take her to Hajj and Umrah when you can afford to do so.

14. Showing Respect for her Family and Friends

• Take her to visit her family and relatives, especially her parents.
• Invite them to visit her and welcome them.
• Give them presents on special occasions.
• Help them when needed with money, effort, etc..
• Keep good relations with her family after her death if she dies first. Also in this case the husband is encouraged to follow the sunnah and keep giving what she used to give in her life to her friends and family.

15. (Islamic) Training & Admonition

This includes

• The basics of Islam
• Her duties and rights
• Reading and writing
• Encouraging her to attend lessons and halaqahs
• Islamic rules (ahkam) related to women
• Buying Islamic books and tapes for the home library

16. Admirable Jealousy

• Ensure she is wearing proper hijab before leaving house.
• Restrict free mixing with non-mahram men.
• Avoiding excess jealousy. Examples of this are: 1- Analyzing every word and sentence she says and overloading her speech by meanings that she did not mean. 2- Preventing her from going out of the house when the reasons are just. 3- Preventing her from answering the phone. 4- etc.

17. Patience and Mildness

• Problems are expected in every marriage so this is normal. What is wrong is excessive responses and magnifying problems until a marital breakdown.
• Anger should be shown when she exceeds the boundaries of Allah SWT, by delaying prayers, backbiting, watching prohibited scenes on TV, etc..
• Forgive the mistakes she does to you (See item 18).
• How can you best correct her mistakes? 1- First, implicit and explicit advice several times. 2- Then by turning your back to her in bed (displaying your feelings). Note that this does not include leaving the bedroom to another room, leaving the house to another place, or not talking with her.

18. Pardoning and Appropriate Censure

• Accounting her only for larger mistakes.
• Forgive mistakes done to him but account her for mistakes done in Allah's rights, e.g. delaying prayers, etc..
• Remember all the good she does whenever she makes a mistake.
• Remember that all humans err so try to find excuses for her such as maybe she is tired, sad, having her monthly cycle or that her commitment to Islam is growing.
• Avoid attacking her for the bad cooking of the food as the Prophet PBUH never blamed any of his wives for this. If he likes the food, he eats and if he doesn't then he does not eat and does not comment.
• Before declaring her to be in error, try other indirect approaches that are more subtle than direct accusations.
• Escape from using insults and words that may hurt her feelings.
• When it becomes necessary to discuss a problem wait until you have privacy from others.
• Waiting until the anger has subsided a bit can help to keep a control on your words.

Finally, please make Du'a for the writer; Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem Hamed, for the translator brother Abu Talhah and for reviewer Br. Adam Qurashi. Remember this is not a perfect translation so forgive us our faults and correct our errors.

House for sale...moving to Damascus...
now if only I can persuade kids
that he can still come to visit them...

Arabic Language Centre Damascus University

I'm dying...

for
a breakfast
of
Syrian Goat Cheese
Arab bread
olives
and yoghurt...
and lots of olive oil.


Haven't had that in a while.
It's like
so
sedap giler.

Must go stock up at the Arab grocery shop tomorrow...

I would love to try this one day too:
"Mshalalé" which literally means "braids/braided" and originates from certain countries of the Middle Eastern region (around Lebanon, Syria and Jordan).The cheese comes in a tightly braided shape, and to eat it you must unbraid it first to obtain separate strands. It is best enjoyed drizzled with olive oil, Nigella seeds, olives, Arabic bread and good old tea.

Reading this post about a Syrian trip makes me wanna go soon...Just something so beautiful about Syria.

Izraeel
aku setia menunggu
kehadiranmu
walau cemas, berdebar dan gentar
hati dan fikiranku
berdepan
saat
ku akhirnya dapat
menatap wajahmu
ditemani Azab Perit
yang dijanjikan
pelukan Mautmu
membebaskan aku
dari belenggu kepalsuan
agar
kembali
bersama kebenaran
Kekasihku yang Satu
dengan hanya berbekalkan
harapan
KeAmpunan dariNya.

"Tell them (O Muhammad ): 'O My slaves who have wronged their souls, do not despair of Allah's mercy, for Allah will forgive all the sins. He is indeed very Forgiving, very Compassionate, Turn to Him then, and obey Him (in all your affairs).'" (Al-Zumar:53,54).

Kow Shih-li...

I just came across this!!! My dear old MRSM friend, Kow Shih-Li...I lost touch with her over the years. Reading this, I am so proud of her. I knew her as such a gentle, soft-spoken soul...congratulations Shih-Li!!! She has been shortlisted for a pretigious award:

Thursday, July 2nd, 2009 04:27:00

SHIH-LI KOW: One of six writers nominated for the Frank O'Connor award.

MALAYSIAN Shih-Li Kow is one of six authors, from a longlist of 57 worldwide, in the running for the prestigious 2009 Frank O'Connor Award. Her debut compilation Ripples and Other Stories (published by Silverfish Books) has been shortlisted for the world's richest award for a collection of short stories -- €35,000 (about RM174,000).

Besides Shih-Li, three others have also been nominated for their debut publications -- Zimbabwean Petina Gappah (An Elegy for Easterly), American Wells Tower (Everything Ravaged, Everything Burned), and London-born Simon Van Booy (Love Begins in Winter).

Irish writer Philip O Ceallaigh (who has no apostrophe in his name) appears on the shortlist with his second collection of short stories, The Pleasant Light of Day, while New Zealander Charlotte Grimshaw, nominated for Singularity, is described by The Guardian as "something of a veteran in this context, with two novels and a previous collection of short stories to her name".

This year's winner will be announced on 20 September in Cork, Ireland, at an awards ceremony that all nominees must attend. The announcement marks the culmination of Cork's annual Frank O'Connor International short story festival which has been held since 2005.

For last year's award, there were 38 longlisted but the judges dispensed with the ritual of issuing a shortlist, announcing Jhumpa Lahiri winner for her Unaccustomed Earth -- "a unanimous winner at this early stage we decided it would be a sham to compose a shortlist and put five other writers through unnecessary stress and suspense," the award's director, Pat Cotter had explained.

American writer and film-maker Miranda July's No One Belongs Here More Than You won in 2007, Haruki Murakami's Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman in 2006 and the inaugural award went to Yiyun Li for her debut collection, A Thousand Years of Good Prayers.

In an interview in April with NST's Sunday People, when Shih-Li was asked as to what excited her most about writing, she had replied: "The possibilities. On a personal level it's to see how far I can go as a writer in terms of skills and capabilities. It's always nice to be challenged..."

Earlier In March, Silverfish Books owner-publisher Raman Krishnan had written in his then opinion column Synchcronicity with Malay Mail about locally-produced books "coming out thick and fast, and some of them are of international standard.

"Take the recently published Ripples and other stories by Shih-Li Kow. Amir Muhammad gave it an absolutely positive review, and everyone who has read it is full of praise. This book deserves to be in every Malaysian public and school library. But will it? Or will that space be reserved for a badly edited title of uneven quality by the "right" publisher?"

Earlier this week, after receiving the news from Ireland of Shih-Li's achievement, Raman wrote in the Silverfish website: "Well, now she has to be in Cork, Ireland on the 20th of September for the awards presentation at the end of the Frank O'Connor Short Story Festival, which starts on the 16th of that month.

"Win or lose, it does not matter anymore. She has already won. Malaysian writing has already won. Malaysian readers have won."

Time for words

INTAN MAIZURA AHMAD KAMAL
Sunday People NST

For single working mum Kow Shih-Li, finding the hours to spare so she could concentrate on writing her book was the hardest part, writes INTAN MAIZURA AHMAD KAMAL

HER bespectacled eyes dance with enthusiasm as she lovingly traces her fingers around the contours of her first solo book, Ripples And Other Stories, a Malaysian Literature in English Series under Silverfish Books.

For single mum Kow Shih-Li, all those precious spare hours over a period of a year and a half that she’s managed to sneak in — in between juggling her day job as manager of a small shopping centre in town and looking after her young son, Jack — has been worth it.

“I won’t over-dramatise about how hard it was to write. It wasn’t like some artist suffering for their art sort of thing!” she begins, chuckling shyly. “Yeah, time was the only struggle I had because of work commitments. But I enjoyed the whole process.”

This is not Kow’s first outing as a writer. The soft-spoken 41-year-old, who has a background in chemical engineering and worked as an industrial engineer in a multinational consumer products company for 10 years, had previously been a part of Silverfish Books’ News From Home, a three-author anthology out last year, and also had one of her stories published in Silverfish New Writing.

Ripples And Other Stories, a collection of sprightly tales inspired by people who’ve crossed her path, is a wonderful showcase of Kow’s sensitivity to language and her ability to flesh out her characters. But, she says modestly: “I wish writing came naturally but it doesn’t. I guess it’s because I don’t come from a creative writing background.”

Noting my disbelief at her modesty, the Libran adds: “Writing is not a one-dimensional skill. Especially fiction. There are always so many different aspects like the plot, narrative, the language, the story... many things come into play. It’s quite hard as a new writer to have a grasp of all these things and then to pull it all together. When I write I’m conscious that I have limitations in certain areas and I find it difficult to juggle the different techniques required.”

That may be so when it hasn’t doused her passion for writing. “I enjoy the thought process. You have to be the sort of person who likes having conversations with yourself,” she adds, her eyes twinkling.

“In coming up with stories and playing around with words, in putting things together, I had internalise everything. It’s like having a really long two-way conversation with yourself!”

Continuing, she says: “I actually took a workshop at Silverfish New Writing, which started it all off. After that, I read writers writing about other writers. Recently the British Council ran a writing workshop and I signed up for a few of those. It’s good to have some guidance especially the technical aspects.”

Kow, who enjoys Chinese brush painting and photography (pre-digital camera era!), tries to write a little bit every day. “Sometimes it’s nothing, sometimes it’s just a paragraph of maybe descriptions but I try. I did sit in the toilet for a story that I’m working on but that’s not out yet! Sometimes when I’m driving, an idea hits me.”

As to what excites her most about writing, she replies: “The possibilities. On a personal level it’s to see how far I can go as a writer in terms of skills and capabilities. It’s always nice to be challenged. It’s also quite exciting right now that the local writing scene is heating up. There are lots of people writing and people asking for stories. It’s nice to be a part of that growth although it’s still a small scene.”

Growing up, the KL-born Kow confides, she was very bookish, “…nerdy even”. She chuckles at the recollection. “Enid Blyton was the staple during my primary years. I was lucky that I had access to books as my father was a publisher, albeit a Chinese textbook publisher! My mum was a teacher so the environment was conducive to reading.”

But she ended up studying chemical engineering?

She smiles. “I was one of those students who ended up in the Science stream by virtue of exam results. At that time, if you were in the science stream, the natural choices were to go with engineering, be a doctor or take pure sciences.

“I never thought of doing anything non-science or non-technical as a career. I wrote bits and pieces for the school magazine during my secondary years in Kedah but writing eventually took a back seat when I had family and work commitments.”

These days, time is still a constraint but Kow is determined that her writing won’t need to go on the skids again. In fact, the writer, who considers Anthony Burgess’ The Malayan Trilogy and Yann Martel’s fantasy adventure, Life Of Pi, to be among her favourite books, is already working on materials for another possible outing.

What’s the secret to good writing?

Squinting her eyes in thought, Kow eventually replies: “Read and then try and write. While trying to write you have to be quite conscious of what you can and can’t do as a writer, and then you’ll be able to package something decent. It’s all about practice, reading, and reading about writing.”

Ripples And Other Stories is available at Silverfish Books, 58-1, Jalan Telawi, Bangsar Baru, KL. Price: RM30

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind;
And therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind:
Nor hath Love's mind of any judgement taste;
Wings and no eyes figure unheedy haste:
And therefore is Love said to be a child,
Because in choice he is so oft beguiled.
As waggish boys in game themselves forswear,
So the boy Love is perjured every where:

Midsummer Night's Dream

Reflections on the Death of Michael Jackson

Shock Dead, Everybody's Gone Mad: Reflections on the Death of Michael Jackson By Hamza Yusuf

On the news Everybody's dog food Bang bang Shock dead Everybody's gone mad... From "They Don't Care About Us" by Michael Jackson As a little boy, Michael Jackson had an extraordinary charisma -- as well as an absolute innocence -- that was disarmingly charming. It captivated millions of Americans and eventually people around the world. As the years went by, his career took strange turns and his face transformed eerily into a ghastly masque, perhaps to conceal the pain of alienation from his own self and family. He was also rumored to have unsavory predilections that would never have been suggested if one used the rigorous criteria of Islam before hurling an accusation. Despite the rumors, he appeared to have had a genuine concern for children, wanting to provide them with a world that was denied to him as a child due to the abuses he claimed to have suffered. I was very happy for him last year when he reportedly became a Muslim. He had apparently followed the footsteps of his dignified and intelligent brother, Jermaine, who converted to Islam 20 years ago and found peace. It seemed befitting that Michael sought refuge from a society that thrives on putting people on pedestals and then knocking them down. He was accused of many terrible things, but was guilty of perhaps being far too sensitive for an extremely cruel world. Such is the fate of many artistic people in our culture of nihilistic art, where the dominant outlet for their talents is in singing hollow pop songs or dancing half-naked in front of ogling onlookers who often leave them as quickly as they clung to them for the next latest sensation. In the manner of Elvis or the Beatles, Michael is unwittingly both a cause and a symptom of America’s national obsession with celebrity, currently on display in the American Idol mania. Celebrity trumps catastrophe every time. Far too few of us make any attempt to understand why jobs are drying up, why mortgages are collapsing, why we spend half-a-trillion dollars to service the interest on the national debt, why our government’s administration, despite being elected on an anti-war platform, is still committed to two unnecessary and unjust wars waged by the earlier administration, wars that continue to involve civilians casualties on an almost daily basis. Instead, we drown in trivia, especially trivia related to celebrity. And the response to Michael’s death is part of the trivial pursuits of American popular culture. The real news about death in America is that twenty Iraq and Afghan war veterans are committing suicide every day. But that does not make the front page nor is it discussed as seriously as the King of Pop’s cardiac arrest. Nevertheless, Michael’s very public death notice is a powerful reminder that no matter how famous or talented or wealthy one is, death comes knocking, sometimes sooner than later. Michael has now entered a world of extraordinary perception, a world that makes his “Thriller” video seem mundane. It is a world of angels and demons, and questions in the grave, a world where fame is based upon piety and charity. Given Michael’s reported conversion to Islam last year, Muslims count him as one of our own, and we pray that he can finally find the peace he never found in this world and that he is in a place, God willing, of mercy, forgiveness, and solace.

Misplaced nationalism

What a step backwards. A people pleasing, vote-buying government. At the expense of our children. Najib's children went to international schools and so did half the Ministers'...yang rugi, anak-anak kita. The regular people.

Biar mati anak jangan mati adat.

Maths, science to be taught in Bahasa

Muhyiddin to annouce decision after Cabinet meeting today
Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 09:16:00


FILE PICTURE: Movement to End Teaching of Science and Maths in English chairman Datuk Dr Hassan Ahmad (right) and National Laureate Datuk Dr A. Samad Said during a press conference to announce their demand to revert the teaching of the two subjects to Bahasa Malaysia earlier this year.

MATHS and science WILL be taught in Bahasa Malaysia, under a government policy reversal that will affect tens of thousands of schoolchildren, and their parents, of course.

Deputy Prime Minister Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin is expected to make this announcement after today's Cabinet meeting.

It is learnt that Muyhiddin briefed former Prime Minister Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad of the government's decision a few days ago as a matter of courtesy, as the teaching of maths and science in English was a policy initiated by Dr Mahathir. The reversal is going to affect tens of thousands, but Muhyiddin is also expected to announce plans by the Ministry to strengthen English as a subject in schools.

Bernama quotes Muhyiddin as saying in Pagoh, Johor, yesterday that he had "already presented a memorandum on the teaching and learning of science and mathematics in English, what has been implemented, the level of command of English and the position of science and mathematics" since the system was implemented.

He said he would also present several suggestions and recommendations on how the government could empower Bahasa Malaysia and strengthen the usage of English at all levels in primary and secondary schools. Ministry officials had met various groups with interest in education to prepare the presentation, he added.

dunnowattoblog

10 Useless Matters

I found this on Zendra's alter-ego's blog...good one to share:

10 Useless Matters

1. Having knowledge that is not acted upon
   
2. A deed or action that has neither sincerity in it nor follow the way of the Prophet pbuh
   
3. Having money that is hoarded - not enjoyed during this life and will not benefit in the next
   
4. Having a heart that is empty of love and longing for Allah and seeking closeness to him
   
5. Having a body that does not obey and serve Allah
   
6. Loving Allah without seeking his pleasure by obeying him
   
7. Having time and that is not spent in dooing good deeds and seeking forgiveness
   
8. Having a mind that thinks about useless matters
   
9. Serving those who do not bring us those closer to Allah
   
10. Hoping and fearing someone who cannot benefit or harm us
    

The greatest of all the useless matters is the

1. Waste of heart - by preferring this life instead of the next -
2. Waste of time - having incessant hopes and desires

Is our heart focussed on Allah or is it seeking fame and companionship on something else other than the closeness of Allah

Manage our time - especially for Muslim women because women are weaker in faith, women give in to their emotions more, women suffer from loneliness and depression more than men do, women are always seeking love, and looking for the rainbow that may not exist

1. Identify your life-goals - should be specific, documented, set deadlines, short-term goals must jive-in with long term goals
   
2. Plan ahead - set a daily to-do list and review regularly
3. Set prioritise - relieves stress of too little time, focus our energy on the most important things

Islam encourages Muslims to care for time, to utilise time, to not waste our time and holds us responsible for how we spend our time

In Islam time is not money, time is more important than money. How I am spending my time may determine if I even get any money.

The highest and most worthy and most useful of reflection is when it is intended for Allah and the Hereafter.

In this day and age...

this still exists while we carry on happily with our lives:

‘Ray of hope’ that turned out to be a nightmare



KUALA KUBU BARU: We were hit by the stench of faeces and urine the minute we walked into the men’s block at Taman Sinar Harapan located in a secluded area of the town here.

Mr A, a volunteer from a non-governmental organisation who goes to the home every Sunday to clean and feed the residents, opened the locked door at the back of the block and we were stunned by what greeted us.

About 30 stark naked men were inside the room, either lying down or sitting on the wet marble floor. In one part of the room, we saw a pool of blood, still fresh and red, on the floor.

full story here

Experts slam caregivers for chaining mental patients to their beds

PETALING JAYA: Chaining mental patients to their beds and leaving them to run in the nude is sheer abuse and inhumane, says Asean Federation for Psychiatry and Mental Health president Prof Dr Mohamad Hussain Habil.

Perihelion and Aphelion
Credit & Copyright: Enrique Luque Cervigón

Explanation: This year Aphelion, the point in Earth's elliptical orbit when it is farthest from the Sun, occurs tomorrow, July 4th. Of course, that doesn't affect the seasons on our fair planet. Those are determined by the tilt of Earth's axis of rotation and not Earth's distance from the Sun, so July is still winter in the south and summer in northern hemisphere. But it does mean that on July 4th the Sun will be at its smallest apparent size. This composite neatly compares two pictures of the Sun taken with the same telescope and camera on the dates of Perihelion (closest approach) and Aphelion in 2008. The image labels include Earth's distance in kilometers from the Sun on the two dates. Otherwise difficult to notice, the change in the Sun's apparent diameter between Perihelion and Aphelion is clear. The difference amounts to a little over 3 percent.

Authors & editors: Robert Nemiroff (MTU) & Jerry Bonnell (UMCP)
NASA Official: Phillip Newman Specific rights apply.
NASA Web Privacy Policy and Important Notices
A service of: ASD at NASA / GSFC
& Michigan Tech. U.

Only 10 Ringgit a month...

I would like to highlight this facebook effort started by Nadzrin. A little spare change goes a long way as a collective effort:

Assalamualaikum sahabat semua, Saya menerima email daripada Mohd Fadzli Abdullah Halim dari Shariah Division, Etiqa Takaful Berhad yang menarik perhatian kepada penderitaan Kak Mah, seorang ibu yang mempunyai 10 orang anak. Beliau sangat-sangat memerlukan bantuan orang ramai untuk meneruskan kehidupannya. Saya mengasaskan laman ini untuk menggarap sebanyak mungkin bantuan daripada sahabat semua. Inilah email asal Mohd Fadzli: ------------------------------ "Semoga anda semua sentiasa dalam rahmat dan kasih sayang Allah swt, diperkuatkan Iman serta dipermudahkan segala urusan. Amin Sukacita dimaklumkan bahawa Jabatan Syariah Etiqa Takaful sedang dalam usaha membantu sebuah keluarga fakir dan miskin yang amat memerlukan bantuan. Kami memohon jasa baik dan keperihatinan semua agar dapat membantu meringankan beban kewangan bulanan keluarga ini. Antara bantuan yang diperlukan: 1. Mendepositkan derma bantuan sekurang-kurangnya RM10.00 setiap bulan untuk membantu perbelanjaan harian, perubatan dan persekolahan dengan menggunakan teknologi maybank2u, phonebanking, internet bangking dan sebagainya. 2. Menganjurkan lawatan ke rumah beliau dengan membawa sedikit barangan keperluan harian (Beras, susu, gula, tepung dan sebagainya). 3. Memanjangkan email ini kepada rakan terdekat anda yang boleh membantu mereka." ------------------------------ Bagi yang mampu membantu, jika tidak sanggup RM10 sebulan, RM5 pun boleh, asalkan kita beramai-ramai. Sila sebarkan keanggotaan group ini seluas mungkin. Kak Mah juga pembuat kuih. Jika anda ingin membantu beliau melariskan jualannya boleh juga mengambil tempahan kuih daripadanya untuk majlis-majlis anda, dan jika boleh, tawarkanlah harga yang tinggi. Semoga Allah merahmati anda semua.

Contact Info

Email:
Office:	Shariah Division, Etiqa Takaful Bhd

Maklumat Fakir Miskin – Pemohon bantuan

Ringkasan Maklumat

Nama Pemohon : Salmah Bt Mat Hassan (39 tahun)

Nama Suami : Ibrahim Mohamad (49 tahun)
(Mengalami sakit tulang akibat kemalangan dan tidak mampu melakukan kerja berat)

Alamat kediaman : (untuk dapatkan maklumat ini, sila hubungi nadzrin@gmail.com)

Telefon : (untuk dapatkan maklumat ini, sila hubungi nadzrin@gmail.com)

Bayaran sewa rumah : RM124 (dibayar Baitulmal WP sejak 2004)

Bilangan anak : 10 orang

Umur : 1 – 20 tahun

Bilangan anak tinggal bersama : 8 orang
Bilangan anak berpenyakit serius : 5 orang
Bilangan anak bersekolah : 6 orang

Pekerjaan : Menjual kuih

Pendapatan bulanan : RM500.00 (anggaran)
Perbelanjaan bulanan : RM800.00

Perbelanjaan ubatan bulanan : RM600.00

Jumlah keperluan sebulan : RM1400.00

Catitan

1. Etiqa Takaful Berhad telah mengeluarkan bantuan Zakat berjumlah RM2800.00 untuk membantu keluarga ini pada bulan Jun dan Dis 2008.

2. Satu kunjungan sambil melakukan kajiselidik ke rumah pemohon telah diadakan oleh Ketua dan pegawai Jabatan Syariah Etiqa Takaful pada 27 hb April 2009.

3. Sumbangan derma dari warga Dataran Maybank hasil dari kutipan derma bersempena ceramah umum khas pada 14/4/2009 oleh Dato’ Ismail Kamus berjumlah RM510.00 telah diserahkan sempena lawatan berkenaan.

4. Keadaan kediaman beliau sangat dhaif dan kebanyakkan peralatan di rumah beliau adalah sumbangan jiran dan dalam keadaan menyedihkan.

5. Kehidupan keluarga ini serba kekurangan dan acap kali cuma mampu makan sekali sahaja dalam sehari.

6. Keluarga ini mengalami defisit perbelanjaan sebanyak RM900.00 setiap bulan untuk perbelanjaan harian dan ubatan. Beliau kerap menagih simpati dengan mengunjungi pejabat-pejabat mengharapkan derma untuk menampung keperluan.

Kepada para dermawan, bantuan boleh disalurkan terus ke akaun bank beliau seperti berikut: Maklumat akaun bank : BIMB 0309 0020 1206 25 (atas nama Salmah Bt Mat Hassan)

Baby Killers and Heartbreakers

UTM student found dead after giving birth

JOHOR BARU: A Universiti Teknologi Malaysia student was found dead in her campus dormitory after she had given birth to a baby boy. The baby, whose umbilical cord was still attached to his mother, was also dead.

The 26-year-old fourth-year student, who was unmarried, was found in her dormitory by a warden around 5pm on Monday.

Johor Baru (North) OCPD Asst Comm Ruslan Hassan said initial investigations revealed that the student, who was from Kelantan, had been dead for more than two days.

“We believe she died after giving birth.

“However, we are not ruling out the possibility of a criminal element in her death,” he said.

He said the victim’s partner could be a fellow student.

“The bodies have been sent to the Sultanah Aminah Hospital for post-mortem,” he said.

ACP Ruslan urged anyone with information to contact the police hotline at 07-2212 999 or the nearest police station.

I teared up reading this while having my tairu vadai, tosei, putu mayam and teh tarik at the totally mandram-infused Thurkah restaurant at Melawati this morning. Hindu idols everywhere... staring down at me, above me, below me and piercing my back...the incense also nearly suffocated me...but I had to have the putu mayam. My regular putu mayam guy went back to India and never came back. Probably driving an SL55 now..maybe the Hindustani Ambassador version.

Anyways, the image conjured up by that piece of news, really got to me. The mum dead, with the baby still attached by its umblical cord, dead too. For two days. What a heartbreaking vision. What pain both went through. Funny how living in a dorm, one can have that much privacy. I never did. No one heard a thing?

Unmarried. Pregnant. Afraid. Not a young girl either. She was 26 for heaven's sake. Where is the father? Where was he in all this? How could a mature woman get herself in such trouble? For sure though, that man will be moving on with his life as if nothing happened. They always do. Its the woman/girl who gets the bad rap. Who has to deal with the consequences of her naivety.

Just yesterday, we had the woman who drowned her baby in a pail of water, after giving birth so bloodily in the toilet of the Wisma Bolasepak Pahang.

Why do we keep seeing this scenario played out over and over again?

I once went to Raudatus Sakinah, a place run by Jemaah Islah. A Muslim group, which took it upon themselves to intervene or at least avoid such scenarios. They take in unmarried pregnant teens and young women who have no where else to go. Instead of ostracizing them, they give them a place to stay, feed them, give them medical care and counselling. Plus religious knowledge. The girls then have an option to keep the babies, or give them up to carefully screened couples and then continue with their studies and lives and dreams, and hopefully become better women and persons after have learnt their lessons and received guidance. Instead of dumping the helpless little beings down toilets or throwing them like a piece garbage onto dumps, into bins.

The visit brought back memories of a friend, who at 18, got pregnant. She thought she was in love, never having experienced such feelings, with a 30 year old man, who knew better. But he lied and sweet-talked his way into her panties through her heart. Women are stupid that way. They only need to hear that they are beautiful, smart and sexy and that someone needs them and can't live without them. Didn't help that the man was a dashing Kevin Costner in An Officer and a Gentleman, plus he had his own ship.

And so, there she was, suddenly slapped into reality the moment she found out she was pregnant. And dumped like a hot potato.

"I don't think that baby is mine," he said, "and (what a shocker for her) I'm married. I can't have anything to do with this or you." Before he left for another port far away.

"But you were the only one I ever knew," she said. As if he cared. First lesson of love she learnt was the worst.

She couldn't tell her mother. Or her father. Or her siblings. She lay there for days in her room, trying to figure out what to do. She wanted to keep it. She was after all going overseas and she could have the baby there. No one would know.

She went to a doctor. To get advice on how to cope with the pregnancy. The kindly doctor, an elderly lady, talked to her. Told her the truth. Of how life would be at 18, with a baby and lost opportunities. How would she care for him/her while studying? In a foreign country all by herself?

She wanted so much to talk to her parents, but couldn't. She couldn't break their hearts. So she broke hers and went for an abortion at a specialist recommended by the lady doctor. She didn't have any money, and I didn't have enough to help her, but the gynaecologist was kind enough to waive the payment.

She cried all throughout the procedure. She felt so dirty and evil and could feel all the other legitimate mums there, at the clinic, looking at this young girl and judging her, knowing what she just did.

She shakily went home in a cab with some money given by the nurse. And cried some more till she fell asleep in her room. Her mother and father blissfully unawares of her pain and predicament.

It was after all her own fault, wasn't it?

She got pregnant all by herself.

Didn't she?

Life went on for her.

What about the others? Who went through the whole term of pregnancy, only to kill their alive, screaming, beautiful, innocent babies after birthing them all alone?

Oh. I just read another story. A form four student.

Her water broke during class yesterday.

No one knew she was pregnant.

Check out this other cat....whiskerslives