Saya ada a few "wedding reception" to attend this month. Formal, tak leh bawak anak like a few others I'm attending. Takut spoil fantasy marriage mungkin. Sebab masa kawin tu semua masih di alam fantasi. Alam fantasi kentut busuk yang mekar mewangi seperti Chanel no.5. Suami tak hensem pun nampak hensem. Sebab mungkin kaya, berada dan melepak.
Saya tak tau hadiah apa nak beli. Sebab mereka tak suka hadiah murahan.Dan saya pokai.
Saya jugak tak tau baju apa nak pakai. The only baju labuci I have is my black jubah. Yang ade labuci biru kat tangan dengan hem bawah. Nanti saya pakai, macam nak pi kebumi orang (which is also true...marriage is like whacking the final nail on your coffin). Mereka semua hanya pakai baju2 labuci dibawa khas dari India. Kerlipan yang mengalahkan bintang Bollywood. Muka pun macam Bollywood starlet lepas keluar dari salon. Rambut pun lebih panjang dan ikal dari original. And they have the bored looks on their faces. Expressionless. Maybe their make-up will crack. Or THEYwill, if they decide to act human or normal like the rest of us poor slobs of housewives. Hair extensions? Saya tak tau. Saya pun perlukan extensions. Rambut saya tak seperti dahulu. Childbirth makes you mad as well as bald. Hormones. Blame it on the hormones. Which is a fact, actually. Tapi saya tak mau rambut orang mati on my head. Biarlah saya au naturel. Sebab when you wake up in the morning, no one looks like a Bollywood starlet. They will look like a Bollywood starlet with a serious hangover and dried drool. And no one can lie down forever, so their breasts look better. They have to get up sooner or later and make breakfast and scream at the kids to get the hell up already. And at the husband to fix the bloody lightbulb or the sink already. That's reality. Not the garden wedding fantasy crap.
Saya tak suka weddings. They make me sad and cynical (because I know reality will hit them smack on after the party ends and all the lovey dovey romantic gestures fizzle out).
Bagi saya, marriages remind me especially of funerals.
Maybe coz I'm mourning dead loves, lost promises, lost youth and lost beauty.
I guess...
I'm just an insanely jealous woman who can't bear to look at the happy couple.
But then again. We're all gonna die anyway.
Will it all matter in the end?
Monday, October 5, 2009
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38 comments:
Saya, my friend, you are not alone. I pun tak suka wedding sangat. Bukan sebab cynical, tapi sebab jemu orang tanya bila I nak kahwin. Kenapa orang lain yang berpacaran, orang lain yang sibuk macam Mak Andam? Wear your jubah anyway. With your features and figure, you can carry off anything and still look dignified and sophis.
Cheerio,
CO78
Dear Lynn...
nanti bila u dah kawin, the question will be, "bila nak ade anak?"...then after that, "satu jer anak?" never ending lah...hahaha
Wah, first time someone complimented me on my figure...usually all those Tok Uban fellas say gemuk lah, bla2 (jgn marah Uban)...thank you my dear!
Bila kita nak pi makan lagi?
Haiya Saya & CO78, why la like that one, other people happy so be it lah. Why la consume yourselves with negative tots. Ceh!
Hey CO78, I know of this old bachelor friend hor who gets asked the same questions by little old ladies (aunties & makciks) when he attends weddings. “Hello young man (giggle2),”When la is your turn?”
This really gets in his nerves, so to get even, whenever he bumps into these KPC Ah Poh/Makciks, at funerals, he’ll ask them the SAME question…..muahaha.
Salam,
Tommy
P/S – No lah seriously we must not harbour this sort of morbid tots in our head – bad for our health!
Tommy dear,
Taht's why lah we blog about it...hehehe...so it gets dumped herelah...
muahahaha....
well said!
but I love weddings, especially kalau Riffai yg buat. I love the scallops on the dais, the flowers by the stage, the tea lights strewn strategically to enhance the shadowy lighting, the smell of bunga rampai and potpourri, the hue of blood red henna inking the fingertips....
ahhhh... I dun believe in love anymore but I still believe in marriages kot?
VA,
kawin dulu baru bercinta macam org dulu2 baru ok kot...and sign pre-nup of obligations, needs, duties, nafkah etc....heheh...ade I tgk this Muslim couple buat, so tak jadik issue later
Bila you free to makan and gossip? This Sat, 10 Oct, I ada kat SPCA lagi. Bawalah the two princesses sekali!
Saya, go black lah. Easier for the photographer ---- ehehemmm ;D
Pre-nup kena include who mows the lawn and how often - it's not like people here can make love in the long grass - without the neighbours dogs and who else going berserk hahahaha
Kat mana ye party tu - hopefully it won't rain - habis rosak celak bollywood nanti
Nuff said,my sentiments exactly. am not into weddings, don't understand what the fuss is about and what a waste of everything, money and all.. i did not have one, just registry office and family do, and will never have one even if i fall stupidly and madly in love all over again and want to tie the knot, NOT..
fairytale wedding and happily ever after.... PHAHH , geram, now i say it phew!
g'day, saya and all
p.s.
yew, tommee figure, bbq croc? that's gourmet grub man,
where got susah susah cari makan when can afford that and looooong groggy fri lunches, sounds like you are having a ball gainfully employed there...chin chin.
Zendra...ooooh make love in long grass...sini tak leh...ade lipan, ade gonggok..macam2 lagi...heheh...kat US leh la...on the bed of autumn's leaves... :D
ya lah...black la...but everyone else kerlip2...i macam Morticia plak spoil party depa
MM...heheh.
Lepas geram already meh? Mana tau nanti u fall in love again, you want to have 2million dollar bahamas bash like that Evert spouse stealer (can say some more to the ex-wife...move on lah )...but then see how fast they got divorced...hehehe
Tommy eat croc ka? I thought he WAS a buaya?
Why so hipocrite one, to your own relative somemore? They didn't force you to go meh! You might have a bad marriage but that doesn't mean others can't have a fairy tale wedding and a happy ever lasting marriage. Somemore can talk about funeral...insane....
Eh Anon....
dont like don't read lah...or get your own blog and write about hepi2 stuff.
Idiots like anon cowards ni just pop out of nowhere and leave crappy cooments uninvited. They are the kinds who dont have own blogs, are negative abt what people write, but at the same time, cannot tahan but be voyeurs.
I say go fly a kite. Only friends welcome here. Don't come back. You don't know me, I dont care to hear from you. Or what you think about me, coz you dont know what i write is about.
Adios!
Eh Anon bengap!
Tak bace ker what i wrote till the end?
Why are you calling me a hypocrite you idiot?
At least I admit my feelings kan at the end?
You? Idiot still lost in fantasy land.
lain kali mai blog orang, polite la sikit macam si Tommy tu walau disagree,
otherwise go fcuk off.
Thot everything gets dumped in cyber space...so why get so angly one! Wear jubah cannot be angly2 and use bad words meh. People give comment must accept la being it tve or -ve.
Hope you don't spoil people's wedding....
Ceh...
Anon,
Wear jubah also human, why single out jubah only meh?
...Your homosex pedophile priests and moneymaking tokong fellas lagi lah...fallible meh...and more so when idiots like you take things out of context.
Now go back to the hole where you came out from.
Don't talk crap when you dont even know me and what im really talking about in my posts.
Go back to lala land..no I wont spoil anyone's weddin...only yours maybe.
Go read Enid Blyton or something. Tis is all too deep for you.
Ha..nasib baik Tok Uban geng hari ni...hehehe
the foolishman seeks happiness in the distance, the wiseman grows it under his feet! the smart lady just needs to swipe her husband's credit card.
it pays to always count your blessing and not the stupid anon comments?
hahaha....
to thin also starve diri sendiri what for meh?
makan, jangan tak makan! last2 mati jugak...hahaha
woooo !!
,,,the smart lady goyang kaki-lah hehehe !!
,,,and not your troubles mah !! yaa.
,,,o.k.Yeop, another one ??..'the person who asks for little deserves,,,,,,,??'
REMEMBER always; THINK poor and you stay poor, THINK wealthy and you grow wealthy !! cos. we find only the world we look for ! hehehe.
"it is He who has created for you all things that are on earth" Al Qur'an 2;29..ameen
Tok Uban
Capten,
no goyang kaki lah, itu joke jer. the only time I had a credit card was when i was working/studying in the US....saya bukan macam Bib you lah...bleh shopping sakan
to naswer your next riddle:
'the person who asks for little deserves A BLOODY BIG MEDAL'
ok Yeop?
Anonymous at 8.42p.m.,
So what gives you the right to be the moral highbrow here? Just because you are cheerful at other's weddings, you think you are entitled to leave unwelcome comments and unsolicited advice in other people's blogs? I think you are one of those attention-seekers who just love feeling self-important. I'll bet you're one of those who appointed yourself monitor/prefect at school!
Ya, Lynn,
I think she/he/it cannot tahan that marriage is not a fantasy like imagined...so they geram i bust their bubble laaaa
Halo2 SAYA, very exciting here, very hot in here this morning.
It never cease to amaze me how some ‘so called’ self righteous ppl like to bother with ‘little’ ppl like us having some tongue in cheek banters AS IF, we can jeopardise their livelihood & happiness.
I meant why bother wasting their 'precious'time coming here if what others wrote bothers them.
To ANON, if u really want to feel good about yourself, there are lots of other worthy issues out there in the whole wide world that u can volunteer & fight for instead of making an ass of yourself here. U r just like the heartless cop that arrested a man for stealing a loaf of bread to feed his hungry children, so blardy heroic.
So take my advice & go main jauh2. You can get more satisfaction flying a kite & toss yourself out together with the scum & flush it down the toilet.
Salam,
Tommy
P/S – G’day2, Wow MM want to layang with me now. U stalking me or what??? Forgot to mentioned I oso like smoked salmon & oyster too, both raw & Kilpatrick..heheh. Many cheers to u too!
Hello Tiger Lady!
Lovely post! Yes, weddings suck. I look at the expense, the nonsense, and I wonder - how long will these two fools last before they're spitting and tearing at each other?
It's all about the 'wedding', isn't it? And no one seems to give a damn about the marriage or the children that come too quickly after it!
And that Anon fler! What a total moron!!! You are so kind to let its comments stay on your blog. Me? I'll simply delete the fler! Asinine imbecile!
You're right: It's your blog. If don't like, don't read lah! Whaffor come here and insult you and your jubah summore! Total asswipe!
But I see you are amply protected by a Pirate Captain and a Covert Operator!!!! So, you're gonna be just fine :)
Tommy,
Aiyah...you are so sexy when you're mad..muahahaha...
Oysters? You hinting something to MM ka?
Hello Pat,
So long no see! Hehehe...thanks for your funny emails.
Ya lah, with friends like you guys, who cares about these Asinine Anons.
Take care...still thinking abt the scones...and jam...and tea...hehehe
aiyooooooooo.....what can I say, but I do love weddings. I have one to attend end of the month..a cousin. I think wedding could be the start of a new death...macam you talk about, or something else also lah...
I do agree about the hair part, mine are thinning and the white are outgrowing the black :( Hormones ! hormones! hormones!!
hair thinning, that's a nice way to describe mine, may have to consider headscarfe soon, would like to blame it on something... but ok lah fortiesh age hormones will do..
tommy tai loh,
stalking you, no lah, you are so VISIBLE everywhere i go, so can't help but noticing you ,i jenguk jenguk most of the time, tip toeing but not leaving footprints.
cheers skippy.
Saya ....hahaha again, smile ya !
,,, this guy Socrates once said ; "by all means marry, if you get a good wife, you'll become happy BUT if you get a bad one, you"ll become a philosopher !!",,guess you might know someone like who-lah ?? hehehe .
,,,o.k. on a more serious note, don't fight in a marriage, learn to fight for the marriage instead ?? Yoooo ! Guess the win/win arrangement suggested for the business world should be brought home too ?.
,,,BUT a deaf husband and a blind wife are always a happy couple !!hohohoo.
i rest my case, hehehe !!.
Tok Uban
Saya:
Another nick name for good ole Tommy - Skippy the bush kangaroo hahahaha ... that does bring back ole TV memries. Good one MM!
Tok Uban said deaf husband and blind wife = lasting marriage. Me turning blind to the pampass outside my house.
masyallah, dah jadik tempat mengamuk pulak kat sini hahahaha! oi tigress hentam apa yg patut ha!sapa yg anon tu yg lorat sgt nak mengutuk tapi takut nak reveal identity, walaupun our capt use the anon but we can still know that it's him coz of his, punctuations and commas! ahahhaha..yo !jgn marah capt!
yoooo !...Aweenm mana boleh marah marah nanti cepat tua hahaha. Merc. tua boleh jadi muda, Tok Tua jadi apa ??.
Capt.
Saya...
I say, just try to look at it from the bride and groom's perspective and try to understand and share their happiness. Don't hang on to your bitterness laa... it only eats you up from inside.
Cewahh!! Aku ke yg bercakap ni??
ladymarko
zendra,
bela jer kuda ngan lembu...abis semua depa makan...hehehe
Aween,
hang jangan lah usik si Uban tu yg sedang merana dengan sorang tu....nanti dia tak leh tido...
"Sigh, Saya, the grass is getting too panjang sangatlah"
Mana-mana saja kena komplen and latest I terjumpa in your blog. Where else I wonder?
BTW if any of you all happen to have a pre-nup hubby to potong rumput selalu, I say hubby go find the studio in a 15 storey condo and make it the only home you will be buying!
hang sendiri mamak, hang kutuk tokong fellas?
Amende ko merepek ni si Anon???
BTW, im not mamak lah...wayyyyy better :)
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