Love and Sex...(dump the Pacak Pria, Bro...hahaha)

(This post is a compilation of a series of articles from trusted websites...)

Sex in Islam

At the time of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), the Sahaabah were not too shy to ask about all affairs, including sexual matters, so as to know the teachings of Islam in these matters. As Aisha (ra), the wife of the Prophet testified, "Blessed are the women of the Ansar. Shyness did not stand in their way of seeking knowledge about their religion." (Agreed upon).

The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, "There is no shyness in matters of religion."

The Prophet (s.a.w.) recommended that the couple should start every intercourse by saying: Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim (in the name of Allah ), and by praying to Allah (making a Du'a) to protect them from Satan, and to protect the child from Satan if a child comes from that intercourse. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: "If one of you when going to his wife said: Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim (In the name of Allah ), O Allah! Protect us from Shaitan and protect the sustenance (child) you give us from Shaitan, and if Allah then gave them a child, Shaitan would not affect it at all." (Al-Bukhari).

The Prophet (s.a.w.) also told the men not to leave their wives before they too had been satisfied, as is their right. The man should not surprise his wife by starting the intercourse suddenly, since that is harmful to her, and the consequences could be harmful to her faith. He should get acquainted with her and should make her feel comfortable instead. "Not one of you should fall upon his wife like an animal; but let there first be a messenger between you." (Zawaj.com Editor's Note: this "messenger" consists of sweet words and caresses).

And Imam al-Ghazali says: "Sex should begin with gentle words and kissing."

The Prophet (saw) said: "The best of you, is the one who is best to his wives, and I am the best of you toward my wives." (At-Tahaawi: Saheeh )

Read also:
The Physical/Emotional Benefits of Sex from the "Medicine of the Prophet"



And on love...(this is a bit longer...)

LOVE IS GOOD FOR THE HEART:

According to Dr. Julie Damp MD, Cardiologist at Vanderbilt Heart and Vascular Institute: “Being involved in a healthy loving relationship is good for the heart”. Most of the theories seem to be related to the fact that people who are married or who are in close, healthy relationships tend to be less likely to smoke, are more physically active and more likely to have a well-developed social structure. Along with that, they are more likely to have lower levels of stress and anxiety in their day-to-day lives. (Newsmax.com).

In a study by Karen Matthews PhD and Linda Gallo PhD, they found that “Marriage appears to be beneficial to women’s health, but only when marital satisfaction is high, new research shows”. From an Islamic perspective, how best can a Muslim couple use the gems from Islam to work towards not only achieving but also maintaining a high level of marital satisfaction? What role can Muslim Psychotherapists play in enhancing a married couple’s sense of satisfaction?

In the website allaahuakbar.net, it is told “Islam is freedom, it upholds free will and encourages rational thought; it recognizes only that virtue or sin which an individual earns is through free action and choice. Within its parameters is a code of behavior, a complete social pattern for man and for woman that looks out to the whole of life through the harmony of a balanced state. How can the Ummah translate the above “balanced state” in this delicate and taboo issue pertaining to attaining good psycho-sexual health?

According to the writer and counselor Abdul Lateef Abdullah in his article “Justifying Irreligious Behavior using Religion- Gender Relations”- “One of the most misunderstood areas of religion particularly within Islamic teachings, is relations between men and women. ……”The mutual WORK that is required of each individual in Islam – the jihad al-Akbar- in which we all must engage through our life course, is the very foundation of the ideal male-female relationship in Islam. Marriage, for example, in traditional spiritual teachings is often referred to as a mutually supportive path towards self- and God-realization, where the goal is not the other, but God Himself. The role of the relationship or partnership on this path is to support one another with tenderness, kindness, open communication, and strength towards achieving this goal. The ideal is that each partner focuses on giving, not receiving, in the spirit of service. This can only occur, however, if each partner understands that the relationship itself does not exist for the purpose of power, subordination, or solely for the fulfillment of sensual desires. It is a truly spiritual partnership, where inherent differences are acknowledged, respected and appreciated, thus meeting in cooperation to further the mutual goal of achieving true love.

This difficult process, however, requires mutual commitment towards personal wholeness, which can only be achieved through dedication to self and God-realization. When men and women as individuals are complete and whole, at peace with which they are, and filled with love of God, they have no need to seek another to complete themselves.

“Among the innumerable signs of the Creator is that He has created for your spouses from the same species that you may find tranquility and has facilitated love and compassion between you. Surely, in this there are signs for those who reflect”. (Holy Quran)

Prophet Mohamed (SAW) stated: “The honorable men treat women honorably; and only a mean person treats women with contempt”. Ibn Assakir

Prophet Mohamed (SAW) stated: “The best of you are those who treat their families the best”. Ask yourself whether you treated your family the best. Cross check your assumptions with feedback you obtain from the family to confirm the accuracy of your assumptions.

Imam Mohamed Baianonie in one of his Friday Speeches on the Topic of “Building the Muslim Family” stated:

“The Quran clarifies that the normal marital life is a life of unity between the spouses. Even though they are two entities, they are in reality one unit in everything, in emotions, feelings, and sleeping place. They are unified when working for the present and when working for their hope of the future. Allah (SAT) describes the nature of the marital life, in Surat Al-Baqarah (verse 187), what can be translated as “They are Libas (clothes) i.e body cover, or screen) for you and you are the same for them”.

Imam Al-Qurtubi says, in interpreting these words: Wearing is established with clothing, and mingling of two spouses with each other is called clothing because they join together and mingle with each other and stick by each other just like clothes on the body.

The Holy Quran emphasizes that this special unity between the spouses is one of the great signs of Allah (SWT) and a blessing from his greater blessings: Allah (SAT) says in Surat Ar-Room (Verse 21), what can be translated as:

”And among His signs is this, that He created for you spouses for yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect”.

Imam Ash-Shawkaani in interpreting these verses clarifies that nature of this special relationship between the two spouses. He says,”…that you may find rest in them….” Means to feel comfortable with and be attracted to. One cannot feel comfortable but with the other and does not get attracted to anyone but to the other.”…..And He has put between you mawadah and rahmah” means deep love and mercy because of marriage so that one will feel sympathetic with the other without any previous knowing of each other, or love or mercy between you; indeed a great sign from Allah”.